


Anchor

by apathyinreverie



Series: Tripping over tombstones [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Post-Canon, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 14:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18096116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apathyinreverie/pseuds/apathyinreverie
Summary: Even after having been back in the past for about a month now, Ben still sometimes forgets that he is alive again. Klaus doesn't.





	Anchor

It's been almost a month since they traveled back through time, back to their past, back to a time where their authoritative father still runs their lives. They are all thirteen years old again and no one is all that happy about it.

Still, it's a second chance, a second chance to do better as siblings, as human beings, as protectors against the apocalypse.

But as much as the time travel might have erased the marks and the scars, the wear and tear on their bodies, the same cannot be said for their minds. If anything, the reality bending has put even more of a strain, just a little more added trauma to their already rather overtaxed psyches.

Although, almost everyone - with one notable exception - seems to forget that that's doubly true for Ben.

Because he didn't just go from 2019 to 2002, didn't just go from thirty to thirteen. Ben went from being dead and only visible to Klaus, to being alive and suddenly having to deal with everyone else again.

It's quite the shock to the system and on some days Ben still kind of forgets about not being dead anymore.

He was a ghost for more than ten years. He got used to people - once more, with one notable exception - not being able to see him. And sometimes Ben just _forgets_ that he can actually voice his own opinions now, that he can speak up and make himself be heard. More often than not, whenever there is a discussion going on around him, it's just automatic for Ben to look at Klaus and communicate his opinion on the matter with his eyes - rarely actually needing to say a single word - and then wait for Klaus to do the talking.

He forgets that other people can hear him now.

Same goes for his habit of making rather sarcastic comments from the sidelines which used to just bring an amused quirk to Klaus' lips but now gets Ben reprimanded by their father as well as by their more self-important siblings. Ben even accidentally starts a fight in the supermarket once because he forgets that the people he is making fun of are able to hear him now as well.

But excuse him, he was dead for more than a decade, got used to seeing everything but never being seen. And sometimes he just forgets that that has changed.

But Klaus never forgets.

Klaus who regularly reminds Ben that he is alive now. His method of choice for doing so being touch.

It's the first thing Klaus did when they landed back in the past. Hug Ben.

After that rather trippy blue light show and the squeezing sensation while also feeling like being torn apart and spread all over, they had all been spat out on the lawn behind their father's house. And all of them had promptly crumpled to the ground - well, except for Five who just stood off to the side, staring down at them with condescending amusement, mockery in his eyes.

There had been a lot of groaning from the others and everyone patting themselves down to take stock of themselves and their suddenly much younger bodies.

And Ben had just been sitting there, entirely overwhelmed. Because nothing could have prepared him for this.

Death is numbness and icy cold and absolute inert stillness, but without actually feeling like any of that. Death is like being under murky water, the world around you muted, an all-encompassing numbness overlaying everything.

But suddenly, sitting there on the lawn, Ben had been able to _feel_ again. Had been able to feel the cold in the air, the damp grass beneath him, the wind and his clothes against his skin, had even been able to feel his own body again, finally losing that all-encompassing, paralyzing numbness of death.

It had been too much, too many impressions and so many things he never even considered he could possibly ever have again, having long since forgotten what being alive even felt like. It was simply too much and it didn't feel real at all.

And Ben's eyes had just automatically sought out Klaus as had become something of a reflex over the years, an ingrained reaction of looking for the only person who could even see him at all, seeking out his anchor to reality. He had been met with the wide eyes of his much younger looking brother.

They had stared at each other for a few seconds.

And then Klaus had just kind of thrown himself at Ben, toppling them both over in a more-than-enthusiastic, almost painfully tight hug. And Ben had hugged back just as fiercely, joining in with his favorite brother's somewhat tearful laughter.

In that exact moment, Ben had truly felt alive again.

And now about a month later, whenever Ben once more forgets that he can speak up to make himself heard to their siblings - instead just looking at Klaus to get his point across, the same way they used to communicate non-verbally in the future, or sometimes just talking over someone else because Ben kind of forgets that the others can hear him now - Klaus reacts the same way he used to before they traveled back in time, talking to Ben without any thought to anyone else in the conversation.

But at the same time Klaus will also throw an arm around him or nudge him with his elbow or ruffle his hair or poke him or try to tickle him. Just touching Ben in some way. _Reminding_ him.

And then there are the hugs at random points throughout the day, hugs to assure them both that Ben is truly amongst the living. Sometimes it's an actual hug - Klaus wrapping both of his arms around him and staying like that for a few minutes - or a one-armed side-hug - when they are standing somewhere, Klaus just slinging an arm around Ben's shoulders companionably - or sometimes Klaus just draping himself over Ben's back - hooking his chin over his shoulder and then proceeding to talk loudly and rather obnoxiously right into Ben's ear.

Klaus is his physical anchor to reality now in life as much as he was his spirit's anchor to reality in death.

The random hugs have become almost common place at this point and they are honestly Ben's absolute favorite thing about being back in the past. It's the only time Ben ever feels absolutely certain that he truly is alive again.

Because Ben was stuck with Klaus for years, but only in those last two or three days right before their travel back in time had they suddenly discovered that maybe Klaus' powers could actually make Ben corporeal in some manner. Something Klaus had then thrown himself at with everything he was, with everything he had, absolutely determined to figure out how to give this tiny bit of life back to Ben.

But still, all those years before then - before those last few days in the future - there had been absolutely nothing, Ben having been entirely cut off from the physical world with Klaus as his only tie to this reality, his anchor against letting himself drift away into the numbness that is death.

And there had been a number of times where Ben had honestly doubted whether him haunting his brother was actually real at all or whether he was just caught in a very weird afterlife. Just as Ben knows that Klaus has spent entire weeks, sometimes months of his life utterly convinced that Ben was nothing but a drug-induced hallucination.

But assumed hallucination or not, Klaus still never stopped talking to him, never stopped acknowledging Ben. It's something that Ben will always be grateful for. Because he has seen other ghosts - so many other incorporeal spirits stuck on this earth - desperate for any sort of acknowledgement, slowly wasting away to become one of those screeching, inhuman phantoms that terrorize his brother in the dark.

Becoming one of those haunting, horrifying wraiths had been Ben's biggest fear ever since he died and got to witness one of Klaus' nightmares for the very first time. It still is.

So, whenever Ben is on his own in his room, he spends hours just running his fingers across his bedspread to feel the fabric, picking up random objects to test their weight in his hand, sitting at the open window to feel the wind on his face. Caught somewhere between adoring his ability to feel once more and _needing_ to feel, needing to assure himself that he is _real_.

Whenever he is alone, he is so very, desperately afraid of fading again.

But then he'll walk downstairs and Klaus will light up as soon as he sees him and reach out to touch him in some manner and that fear just disappears.

Because alive or not, corporeal or not, Ben has always been real to Klaus.

And that will always be more than enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be a collection of little stories about Ben and Klaus, because they are my absolute favorites :)
> 
> Would love to know what you think (*^^*)


End file.
